It's the 19th. Twelve of those every year according to the math, and one in January. Was given a happy reminder today, while at the same time mourning my father's death on this date 38 years ago. It never gets easier. I also realize that I've become so much like him on many levels except for a few.
I'm not going into those here, as I probably have elsewhere. I hope he's looking down on me and smiling, as the alternative is well, not great. I don't know what model of heaven you believe in, however, if you believe that death is a bad thing, then everyone has to go somewhere after, right?
I've been thinking about my own mortality lately, and I've decided that it's not for me. That's right. I've decided to live forever. The literature and entertainment would have you believe that living longer is a bad thing, and again, I have to ask, why?
I'm so amped right now. Arguments being made that are just flat out wrong, as everyone believes something that is flatly not true. Did I inherit stubbornness from my father? Or is it simply a trait that I'm born with based on some randomness that occurred on my date of birth?
They don't tell you this, but after a close relative dies, you begin to believe you see that person everywhere. That phenomenon lasted for a few months back in '82, as I was attempting to navigate my senior year at USC. As a somewhat quiet or shy kid back in the day, I didn't even tell my close friends from Campus Crusade for Christ that I spend a ski trip with a few weeks before until they asked how he was doing.
Maybe I was still in shock. "He died on Tuesday," was my response to someone that had prayed with me in Lake Tahoe right around my birthday. My first ski trip, and we were snowed in. I only got to ski one day. When everything was right with the world.
They even made me a birthday cake, and I didn't know until after the fact, as they kept me busy playing cards in the other room. It was all the guys, and the girls were baking a high altitude cake from one of those mix boxes. I didn't even know that they knew, but I guess that information is freely available even back then.
It's the old, "You've been keeping records on me?" thing. I keep my father alive by remembering him every day. Same with my mother. I still need to finish the first story about her, but that will be another time, and not for publication until I premiere the story in what I call stand-up tragedy.
I have a friend that says everyone leaves, and she's probably right. Shakespeare wrote about this in As You Like It. Both of my parents mastered Shakespeare, but maybe my father more than my mother. He was the performer between the two, as my mother became a teacher. They both taught me to a point.
As you may already know, my father was one of the founders of The Magic Castle in Hollywood, Ca. They have a junior magician's academy, and I didn't need to join, as I had my dad. Almost every day was a lesson in either performance, or diction. I don't truly know if you can inherit your voice, however, I did find a cassette tape lying around here (remember cassette tapes?) with his voice recording of a lecture he gave there, and I sound exactly like him. Maybe that's where my @Mister_Voice persona comes from. I don't know....
He could be heard from across a football field without a microphone. I'm pretty sure I can too, however, I've never had a test. Well, I have, but sometimes, those that micro tell pretend to not to hear me. I'm okay with this. Of course, there's a commercial that says, "Just okay is not okay."
Has everything I've been taught wrong? I don't think so. Loudness is an indication of anger, however, it's not a leading indicator. Maybe you just want to be heard. Part of the cosmic unconsciousness. Yet another belief system. I always say everyone should believe in something, and I believe that both of my parents are in heaven having fun.
Is that how all this truly works? They live for us, and then they die for us, and they get their reward.
It's an even numbered year, so I'll be giving back most of what I get this year, and hopefully, I won't be giving all of it to the government.
Some would say that the only two inevitabilities are death and taxes. I've already decided to avoid one, therefore, I have to work on how to avoid the other.
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