Friday, January 19, 2024


 42 years ago today, my father passed away. I don't know how to honor his memory anymore. He taught me chess, and cards, specifically magick. Yes, I spell that with a k. Why? It's the magazine he and his writing partner collaborated on occasionally. Back then, we didn't have the 'net, so it was a Newsletter that arrived monthly in the mail.  This may be a part of my legacy too. I don't truly know.

I try to post these elsewhere, however, today I may not do that, as I'm not feeling to well about myself. I don't know that I'm honoring him by doing certain things. It's not even a God the Father thing either. I'm definitely sinning, as Romans 3:23 states; all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Redemption? I don't know how to be redeemed effectively.

I've already talked about how I'm now older than he was when he passed. Damn. More than two thirds of my life without him.  That's just simple math. I get jealous when I hear of those my age going to see their father for the weekend or whatever. Mother too, however, that's a post for a different day. I've still yet to get through that one the first time. Maybe you'll see something on September 17th if not sooner elsewhere about her.

I don't truly know why they ended up together. I know they met when they were 15. Eight years after that, they got married. October 17th, 1943 in case it comes up.... They were probably in San Diego for around ten years after that putting together plays at The Old Globe Theatre. I know what you're thinking, "But the Old Globe Theatre is in London!!!"

There's one in Balboa Park too. I know, as I've got pictures. I've even got a taped performance on the open air stage nearby.... That was a Monday. Things are closed on Mondays. I guess some business guy decided that it was the least attended day and people need a 7th day according to the Bible.

There's a whole tangent I could go off on right now, however, it's not near the original circle, so we'll talk about performance. I'm sure you know by now that "All the world's a stage, etc."  I could go on, and on, and on and on, but what would be the point? These are simple lookups, and if I link, you might not come back. That's how this whole 'net things works. Maybe you came here looking for this, or you thought you'd see something else when you got here.

I've been considering how I will create things moving forward. There's a Monday deadline to enter something in Comic Con's film festival that comes up in what, two weeks? Do I have the wherewithal to put together something that will connect everything I've done previously in that time? Do I channel my father in order to do this?  

Narration may be the way to go.  "Put me in, coach!!!" says the guy that's not even good enough to be second string.... Who came up with the term string? Some guitar player? I heard that my dad did that when he was a young lad, but we never had one in the house.... Ironically he's the one that taught me to never give up by continuing to take me to chess tournaments even though I didn't play that well initially.

Poker has taught me that there's a buy in, and an entry fee. There's also what the house takes on top of that. Dad taught me blackjack, and that one Summer we went to Reno for a week, I got all of the quarters he received when it payed three to two on his dollar bet. I didn't realize that was his excuse for drinking freely.

Yes, ultimately my parents came from a different time when the ravages of alcohol were a little less known. We have all this new information that's been gathered in the sixty plus years I've been on this earth that tells a different story. I can make the decision now to not take in anymore alcohol to this ravaged body, however, will that eventually detoxify me to the point where I will no longer enjoy drinking anything? According to the Bible, we can live on bread and water for a very long time. However, that will mostly be tasteless. Damn.

I don't know if any of the above makes any sense to anyone else besides me, however, if you've read this far, I thank you.