Tuesday, July 23, 2019

I'm Real. I'm A Man.


How fast can I write? I've never truly done more than 40 words a minute, and thinking
may slow me down more.... We're not transcribing anything, but we do have a writing
prompt. "Where are all the real men these days?" she asks..... 

I'm right here. Writing about well, myself. We get smacked down whenever we try to be
real with the objects of our desire. I know there's something out there called "The Rules
Girl" and that's from a book that was written what, last century? What are your rules for
a date? A better question is, what the fuck is a date? I don't even know anymore. 

Guys like myself believe we only get one or two chances to make a move on a woman,
and we want to meet real women as well. Back in the 80's there was the four F's mantra;
Find 'em, Feel 'em, Fuck 'em and Forget 'em. I'm not a 4th F kinda guy either. Maybe
that's why I take things slow. 

In front of God and everybody who cares to ask, I'll admit to having a healthy sex life,
however, I had two parents who loved each other and waited for each other before they
even had sex for the first time the night of their wedding. N years later, I was born, and
that's for you millennial types out there that aren't into nebulous and archaic math, a
foreign concept. I've written about my life elsewhere, and there may even be some links
on the right that will lead you to those stories, but this isn't about me really. 

I'm real. I waited a long time to have sex for the first time with something other than an
image I may have seen on either the big or small screen, or even in a magazine. Why?
Because that's what my parents did, and ultimately taught me. While all of my friends
were having fun with the various girl du jour, I was either at home learning, or playing
sports. I wasn't great at anything as I'm a lifetime asthmatic. Well, I was. I've been cured
despite what other doctors may tell you. 

I'm older and hopefully wiser, but I may be making the same mistakes I made in my
youth. Just because a girl likes me, doesn't mean she wants to have sex with me.
However, it will be fun to find out. 

A woman once told me I'd have to date her four or five times before we had sex, and
she'd pay for half of everything. Well, that's not how I was raised. The guy pays for
everything, and maybe gets lucky. Now between you and me and the gatepost, I've
never liked that term. However, Luck be a Lady tonight is a great song from a great
movie. 

So, the real men that are out here, there, or everywhere exist. The women out there may
have to look harder to find them. A better question might be, where are all the real
women that want a real guy? 

I don't have the answer to that one either, however, I do know that they exist as well.
I've even "dated" a few. But again, I don't know what happens on a date. I just know that
today's date is July 23, year of our Lord 2019.... 

So, this missive is taking longer than I have to create it, therefore I miss my public
transportation, and I get somewhere later than I should. Okay, no worries. I have that
ability. If I didn't live in a 30 unit apartment complex, I'd strip down naked and jump in
the pool. Maybe on the day I want to get evicted I'll do that. 

Actually, with the sentiments around here lately, that probably wouldn't happen.
However, the heater is broken. That's been another backwards thing in my life. We
should heat the pool in the months that it's not Summer, and turn it off during that time.
The sun heats the pool adequately for me most of the time anyways. 

The wool sweats are not a viable alternative to the swimsuit that I can't find buried deep
beneath the pile of clean clothes I have in the middle of my living room either. I'll
probably just end up taking a shower to make this happen. I'm already running late, and
it's not even a very important date. Yes, that's right, going to work has taken a backseat
to my career, which is eeking out a meager existence and allows me to type these words
that you may be reading today or tomorrow. 

So, in conclusion, a small town just outside Redondo Beach, what have we learned? A lot
about me, and the fact that I may have not even answered the question posed at the
beginning of this tome. Or is it a missive? Out of all the languages available, English is
my favorite, however, it's not what we speak anymore. I'll have to create a new word for
it; probably Merican. Some would use a u instead of the e.

So, to review; women are the object of my desire, and they're just out of reach, simply
because of the things that I have put forth or fifth out there. 

So, what happens on a date? You spend time together, and you get to know each other,
and hopefully nothing stupid happens and you get to see the woman again. She may
have already made a snap decision about what's going to happen on the date, and
there's outside factors that you can't possibly know about until such time as it may
already be too late. 

This has been my morning therapy brought to you by the fine folks that allow for morning
pages, or journaling.

Saturday, July 20, 2019

The Fear of MacBeth

Stay with me, as this one may go all over the place, however, the point to this post and everyone after it is simply thus: Why is it bad luck to say MacBeth?

A superstition that arose from before I was born, whenever that was, as lately, I'm telling people that I'm infinitely older than I actually am to prove a point, but to stay on topic, if you're on stage, you're not supposed to say, "MacBeth."

Now, as The Bard once wrote, "All the world's a stage, etc." in Act II Scene VII of As You Like it, maybe we're always performing, and therefore because of the above rule, we're never supposed to utter the forbidden name. Like Hitler. No one has that last name today because well, you know; Hitler.

There may not be anyone named MacBeth today either, but it shouldn't be considered bad luck simply to utter it. I don't know that I'm on stage, as right now as I write this, I'm an audience of one, as well as the original author. I may perform this at some point in my life, and that day may come soon, but for today, I say, "MacBeth!!!"

There's more research to be done, and links to link, and the need for other words said that will not be MacBeth. Forgot to put that one in quotes. #SorryNotSorry

Yes, we live in hashtag world now, however, I prefer the term octothorpe.  Tags are tags, and symbols are something else. I may have to tweet this link out later, and be assured that I will use the octothorpe #MacBeth!!!

Some may write it, "McBeth," but that would be wrong, as it definitely contains an "A."  Aside; A is the project that I should be working on, however, I'm writing this instead. I'll apologize for this one later but for now, I find I'm writing about well, you know by now....

Leave an appropriate comment below, and let me know why you think I should never say "MacBeth" again!!!!

72 and sunny in Redondo Beach. Adjust your expectations accordingly.


Saturday, January 19, 2019

Annual Remembrance


37 years ago today, well, you know what happened, and I've taken it upon myself to
write about it every time on this day. Loss such as this is permanent, however how I let it
affect me can change over time. Or can it? I'll never get to play another game of chess
with my father. I've already talked about how that has helped growing up, and here we
are 37 years later, and these are still good memories. 

The bad ones I don't want to write down, and I feel that's a disservice to my memories of
him, however they happened, and affected me deeply as well. I don't want to talk about
them, and I don't want to write them down either. It's probably possible to use those bad
memories and turn them into good ones, as the first time I went through the traumatic
brain injury cycle, their mantra was, "Laugh him out of it." 

Some would say this is a bad thing, and some might say otherwise. I don't know who
these people are either. My mother lived almost eight years after my father died, and
never remarried to honor her memory of him. I only have her stories that she told me
afterwards, and I truly only have memories of being at parties where I again was the only
child there, and hearing stories about how my parent's friends reacted to their stories as
well. 

Maybe Shakespeare had it right from the Scot's play; Let us sit upon the ground and tell
sad stories of the deaths of kings. Are we part of the Marlowe society? The theory being
that a sergeant in the king's army couldn't possibly be intelligent enough to write all of
those tomes during his lifetime. 

However, we've all seen Shakespeare in Love, or if we haven't, we should. It's a great
movie. It goes to the writing process without making it intrusive. He was writing to
entertain the unwashed masses, and maybe we as writers continue to do that to this day.
Ultimately any story is told from the point of view of the narrator, and his reactions to
the various events that he or she witnesses. The hero's journey is written as if the hero is in fact a heroine, as all the literature that I've taken in calls her, well, she. 

This isn't about me. 

However, it is about how I react all these years later, and about my upbringing. My parents basically told me no most of the time I wanted something, as they knew we couldn't afford it, and yet I have so many things now.

Someone once asked me if my father was a good man. I still answer yes to this question,
even though I haven't heard from this person in over a year. Maybe two at this point, as
I'm not truly counting, however as an earth sign, these things that happen to me are taken in slowly. 

My "ruling" planet is also Saturn, from where we get Saturday, which is today.  

Life, Death, Marriage, and Funerals. 

Celebrations of other's lives. How these events affect those that either witness them directly or hear about them indirectly may not ever be recorded and passed on by whomever shall read this.
The joke here is that 37 years later, there's a guy on The Rams with last name Shields,
with #37. I bought that jersey to use as costuming for special someones. I won't mention
their names here, however they should know who they are. If they don't, then they
might comment if I ever publish this. 

It has been published by the fact that you're reading this now, and even though this is
supposed to be private and unfiltered every day while at the same time being
spontaneous only states my need to get most of this out there.... 

Today I have a wedding to attend, and I will celebrate my need to honor my father by
performing magic if asked. We're asked to wear a costume, and I'm effectively going as
myself, however there's a character in the DC Universe that I look like. I just need to
swap out the white jacket for the midnight blue one, and I'll be good to go. 

I do have to remember that the right hand inside jacket pocket has a hole in it however. If
I put anything in there, I'll never get it back. So much for things being instantly reset!!!
I did, and do love my father. 

Frederick M. Shields died on this day in 1982. 

Here's to you, Dad!!!

Monday, December 17, 2018

Thursday, October 25, 2018

Why Things At _____ Cost So Much

As always, fill in the blank with your favorite place of doing business, in this case it's Half Foods. While on a leisurely walk past the establishment in question, I noticed a sign. Now, I know how to read, and the sign stated something on the order of "Free Stuff from October 29th through November 4th!"

Cool. I'm into free stuff, so I stop, and continue to read the rest of the sign. Products at deep discounts, other products free if you buy x, etc. depending on the day.  For the calendar inclined among you, that's Monday through Sunday, however as previously discussed elsewhere, the week starts on Sunday. Don't quibble or comment, just go with me on this one. Or, read this....

So, I'm liking the promos, and figuring out which day I want to pay for overpriced things on whatever days in order to balance the fact that I'm getting something else for practically nothing, and suddenly I notice an anomaly.

Free Soap on October 27th!!!

As always, I'll wait for you to catch up.

Now, as you may already know, I have a degree in computer science, and I know my days of the week. I even know how to count simply. I'm not an AI, however I may be artificially intelligent.  The jury is still deliberating on that one.

In any case, the brain short circuits, and reads the entire sign again. I go inside, and grab someone with a name tag in the hopes that they work there. I mean, why would you wear a name tag at a place you don't work? I'll take comments on that one below, but to continue, I find someone wandering around looking like they're doing nothing, and I ask her to follow me.

We go outside to the sign, and we read. I ask the famous question: What's wrong with this picture?

She says you're right, and proceeds to take the sign out of the signpost, and takes me inside. She even gives me a free bar of soap for noticing the error. I probably could've asked for a free tube of the toothpaste I like, but I'm not a greedy man.

I chose the cucumber soap. I like alkaloids. Sue me. You can Bob or Frank me if you'd like as well. You can Mike me for that matter, but I've already been Miked.  Can everybody hear me?

Now my question which may never get answered is simply this: Did they misprint this sign everywhere, or just in this one location?

72 and sunny in Redondo Beach. Adjust your expectations accordingly.™

Saturday, September 22, 2018

Why I Don't Post Everyday

I keep making the same mistake. I should just write these journal entries as soon as I get up in the morning, however timing is everything, and it takes about 20 minutes to get to this point even when I do that effectively. Today's mistake was reading my email first.

I'm a member of several "Lists", and one in particular mentioned something about being moderated on that particular thread. We all know our industry is incestuous, and at the same time, entertainment should NOT be political. However, most have gotten into this industry for the wrong reasons.

As a matter of public record, I rebelled against this industry for exactly that reason. I could've taken a different path growing up, and then maybe more of you would have heard of me, but as you already know, "Not too many people know that I'm famous."

I use that phrase every once in awhile to humble myself. It's almost hubris at this point, as I have a ranking on IMDb, unlike some of you. It's in the six digits, and it's not going to go up anytime soon, unless those that credit me do it properly. The call sheet should read, "Mike Shields II."

Anyone can find out how I think on a particular day by virtue of social media posts that I make either manually or automagically. That's right. One post in the wrong place, and suddenly all my followers, connections, and the like (not to be confused with "Like") will suddenly vanish. Do I become infamous at that point?

Maybe I am already. I don't know. I just know that I have work to do within the industry that was effectively chosen for me before God and everybody knew that I existed. I also vote a certain way depending on whose running. That should be who's.

The current broohaha or broowaha or however you spell it is simply about television ratings of the latest Emmy broadcast. Why have they dipped from last year a whopping 10%?

I gave my opinion, and started a thread that is currently being moderated. I was lucky enough to give my opinion first on this particular topic simply because no one else thought to reply to all. That's a bozo no no sometimes on these types of lists, as you get scolded by the list manager about a reply that should've gone to an individual via private message when you've done so.

A decision has to be made, and you have a choice. Delaying the decision, or deciding not to decide is still a choice, however after that, it's cause and effect. The Matrix Reloaded explored this very phenomenon. Remember the scene in the restaurant where the owner sent a tiramisu to a woman he fancied?

Ultimately, who decides what's right? Moral relativism is all the rage, and we all want to make money in this business we call show. The needs of the many will always outweigh the needs of the few. Or the one. There's probably a better way to write that with correct grammar, however nobody said this was a grammar lesson. Unless you did, then you're in the wrong class. That one's three blogs down on the left.

So, I'm walking a fine line. I believe in free will, and in this country, I have 1st and 2nd amendment rights. Without those two, the rest of the rest don't truly mean anything to me. My personal preference should not shade what you think about me.

Somehow, I've been put in a position of authority by virtue of my length of time pursuing fame and fortune. Did I ask for this? No. The media does this to me, and by extension, us. Everyone wants fame and fortune, but these days it seems like nobody wants to do the work to get it. Awards shows are great for acknowledgement within your particular industry, and there's a lot of cross pollenization by virtue of the fact that I was literally born into it, but again, I rebelled.

The reality is my education is well rounded as a result, and I have certain opinions that I share on more than an occasional basis, and some of you may read about them here or elsewhere. Getting paid to bloviate is great work if you can get it.

The phone rings. BRB

I could've written, "Be right back", to pad my word count, but I didn't.

So, to review, I have opinions that I write both here and elsewhere on more than an occasional basis, and you may choose to ignore them at your leisure or peril.  I may have covered the original reason why I wrote this in the first place, but that's for you to decide. Let me know in the comments.

72 and sunny in Redondo Beach. Adjust your expectations accordingly™

Thursday, September 6, 2018

Why Am I...



Not awake today, AND I HAVE WORK TO DO!!! I ACCIDENTALLY HIT CAPS LOCK TOO!!! 

Bought coffee. One sip, and I'm already jittery. WTF?!? Why isn't WTF in the spellcheck
dictionary? Who am I going to inflict these words on? What was I thinking when I told her
I was going to write a book too, and we'll see who finishes first? 

Damn me. 

Hell is where when you go there, they have to take you in. Standing up in front of a
crowd of people that you may be meeting for the first time is scary. In fact, fear of public
speaking is a fear that most of you have. I know I don't. My mom put me on stage at
what, three, maybe four years old, and I did okay. I spoke lines in another language as
well. 

I'm still attempting to figure out what year that was. Teahouse of the August Moon. Tea
House is two words? Hey, that's great. Sakini. Cho demo'd key word memorization for us
at Van Mar. I wonder why Ivan didn't ask me? Intellectually, I get it. We can't all be on
stage at the same time. Unless we can, in which case, I may have to be the one to write
that scene.

It's the big production number. Phantom has one at the beginning, and one in the middle.
Masquerade has always been my favorite. Paper faces on parade. I guess that's where
my need to emcee comes from. You can be behind the scenes, or you can be in front.
The question becomes, "Can you do both at the same time?" 

I know I can. I can compartmentalize too. It's how you make a successful 168 Project film
that goes on to bigger and better things after. Blue Blazes. Seven years ago!!! 

Damn.
 
These morning brain dumps get harder and harder. I feel like I'm writing the same stuff
over and over. What am I selling? My book. Wait! It hasn't been published yet! 

Neither has hers. It's not a race. It's a calling. We can all write. We can all read unless
you're like a toddler. At some point, we all know our alphabet. We know how to
pronounce things, and most of us can gain meaning from context. The writing discipline
means that I should be writing something every day, and all the time.

But I can't sit here 24/7. To write what you know, you have to know about it. That doesn't
come from sitting at the keyboard all day. At some point, your brain will be completely
drained. Have I written something that others want to read? 

I DON"T KNOW! 

That's for you to decide. Do you share this? Do others come here and leave a comment?
Sometimes instantaneous gratification takes too long. Everyone wants success NOW!!! 

Do the hard work first, and then maybe you'll find your passion. It took me x years to do
that, and I needed the motivation of several amazing women to get to this point. You
may even meet a few of them in the future. 

You may not know that you have. They may not be with me at the time. I could start a
list, or simply post an #FF at the appropriate day, and then you'll figure it out. However,
most aren't on Twitter, unless they are. Have we discussed how Twitter, and by extension all of social media is a drug? 

Everyone wants to be famous, however no one wants to do the work. The 'net is the
culprit. By virtue of the fact that there's almost 8 Billion, yes, that's right, Billion with a
big fat B people on the planet, not too many people know that I'm famous.

Communications and the ability to broadcast myself out to the unwashed masses as they
were called back in the day allow us to put words in some semblance of an order to
allow for others to read them. 

We all have opinions on how things should work, and most things work the way we want
them to wrote he, before he took another sip of coffee. I may need to write a poem about
the need for tea, or coffee. 

What was the movie in the 60's? Coffee, Tea, Or Me? About stewardesses and how they were selling not only over priced liquor onboard, but themselves to the various passengers. 1969 is the year I remember, however that's ayear or two after I became self aware for the first time....

Well, that's the required. This will be posted elsewhere for commentary. Hope to see you
there!!!